Laxmi – “I don’t exist anymore”


Myself…. Sorry I can’t tell you my name because my parents have not given me any name. I born two hours ago, I waited a long to see my parents. I felt warm and cozy when my mom took me in her arms. I felt very blessed when my mom kissed my forehead. She covered me with her shawl so that I don’t feel cold. I was so happy to see my father when he entered the room to see me. I wanted my dad to take me in his arms and take me out of the room to see my house for the first time. I was looking forward for other family members to welcome me. I am sure they are going to fight for me “Whose is going to play with me first”. I guess I have very big family. Soon, I saw lots of people have started surrounding me. Everyone was talking but my ears are so small as of now to understand their conversations. My father took me and started walking outside. My mom was continuously looking at me and was not ready to leave me. I am so special 😊😊😊. Somehow my dad convinced my mom to take me out so that I can see my house. I am not able to speak their language but still my father understands me that I wanted to see my house. He took me out of the house. In between, I saw the house. It was small but very beautiful. I felt to jump and walk all around.

Suddenly, my father took off the shawl draped by my mom. May be dad has bought new clothes for me and wanted me to wear those. I think dad really cares for me. But I don’t know why did he put me in a water drum outside the house. It was very cold and I am very small to swim. I tried to hit his arms by my small legs so that he can get an idea how cold I am feeling. His arms were slowing leaving me in water. I don’t know why he didn’t notice my legs hitting him. I tried again thinking my legs are so small and this time I started crying too so that he can understand and take me out of that drum. But this time also he did avoid my crying. I was continuously looking at him as my most of the body parts was drowning in freezing cold water. I was not able to take my hands and my legs out to ask him for help. He was looking at me too but I am not sure why he was not helping me. I started to feel problem in breathing. Everyone was there but no one was taking me out of the water. I don’t know why mom is crying instead of helping me. I am sure she will save me. I saw my parents for the last time with a last hope but everyone was just waiting to see me fully drowned or they all were waiting to see me dead. It was not visible but my tiny tears were also mixed in the water.

My journey got ended in 2 hours, very small life. I have been killed by my father just after two hours of my birth and my mom was so helpless that she couldn’t stop him. I waited a long to see my parents but they didn’t give me a chance to even open my eyes properly. When I was drowning, I was looking at my mom. I felt she is trying to say that this is not the right place for you my baby. You can see your helpless and scared mother. I wanted to save you but I can’t. This society considers a girl as a burden. If I will save you, you would have to go through more hurdles and problems in your life because you are a girl.

Soon, you will be convinced that you are lower than a boy. You won’t be allowed to dream because you are a girl. You won’t be able to go to a school as studies are not made for girls. They are just born to take care of the needs of other family members. Girls can’t live for themselves as this is not our culture. One day, we will fix your marriage without asking you as we don’t care about the feelings of non-living things.

After marriage, you will learn to sacrifice your wishes and aspirations as your new house will be your only responsibility. You will very easily learn to give respect to others and not to get respect in return. You might have got marks on your body given by others but that’s not a big issue.

Soon, you will be asked to give birth to a baby. But don’t misunderstand, baby means a boy not a girl. Unfortunately, if you give birth to a girl which is actually not in your hands, my baby, you will be in my place. She’ll be also be killed and no one will even care about your feelings. You too wouldn’t be able to save her. It won’t be easy for you that’s why I request you to go back and don’t come again as my daughter. If you want to come back to me… please come as my son.

I wanted to reply to my mom ‘I want to live as your baby. I want to be called as “Laxmi”. I want to see this world. But if I’ll take birth as a boy I would be on the other side. I will also grow up with all wrong customs. I will also humiliate the women of my house and maybe I will also kill my daughter.

I thought this world is so beautiful but after all this I feel this world is not made for me. Sorry ma, I won’t be able to come back. God gave me to you and dad but you both couldn’t save me. If these wrong beliefs and inhuman customs are important then I wish no girl would take birth on this earth. One day, this world will become an empty place because if we exist then the life exists. And if you all alive women can take stand for yourselves and stop these inhuman customs, I promise I will take rebirth in your home’.

I won’t provide you statistics of female children being killed every year because we all are aware of these incidents. At one side, we ask Goddess Laxmi in Diwali and nine forms of Goddess in Navratri to come to our homes and bless us but on the other side, many female children are being killed every year. So, there is no match in our beliefs. Everyone has their own modified form of customs and they are just passing these tailored customs to their next generations. And due to many alterations according to everyone’s convenience, these traditions are just becoming burdens and moreover showing inhumanity to common people. No custom, no belief can be greater than a life.

We have got over from Sati Pratha but our country is still suffering from the female infanticide. Dowry is also playing a big role in increasing this rate whether it is direct or indirect dowry. I hope you all understand what I am trying to say.

I am sure if we all take stand against these obsolete customs and beliefs, we will get over this and we will be able to stop this crime also. That will be the day only when all forms of Goddess will come to our home to bless us.

Wishing everyone a Happy and Prosperous Diwali and hope I can change the perspective of people and save at least a life.


15 thoughts on “Laxmi – “I don’t exist anymore”

  1. Wonderfully written piece which is unnerving hard hitting and shamefully true. Really do wish these customs and beliefs are eradicated from this country just like the deadly small pox .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Firstly Thanks for giving this message in such a had hitting way to show the truth for the people in the society who still follows this kind of customs. And I am really in to the tears while reading this for all the Laxmi strangled to death, really feel sorry for this kind of Customs.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow it’s a great make people understand through short story …It’s a bitter truth in this society although girls r coming ahead in such so many fields yet our society doesn’t understand…!!

    Liked by 1 person

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