Hi…. This is Reyansh, a well-educated man from upper-middle class family. Two years ago, at the age of 27, I got married to Aabha. She is daughter of Vineet uncle. Vineet uncle is a childhood friend of my father. Education at correct time, marriage with right girl at right time. My life was perfect until I came to know about that problem. Actually, my wife Aabha realized me about the disease.
It was month of festivals. We all were preparing for Diwali festival. Everyone was busy in shopping and decorating the house. Aabha was so excited as this was her first Diwali after marriage. She loves this festival and use to wait for this festival the whole year. She cooked very delicious sweets, master chef of my home. That day my house was beautifully decorated with colorful lights and flowers. We all were nicely dressed up for Laxmi Puja. Aabha wore a light green color saree with golden bangles. She was looking so beautiful that I was not able to take off my eyes from her. Few of our relatives also joined us.
Everyone gathered at our home temple. Aabha went to bring sweets which she had made. We all were waiting for her but she didn’t come for a long while. After few minutes, my mom went inside. I was worried so I also went after mom.
‘Where is Aabha mom?’ I asked mom.
‘She is inside,’ she said.
‘Okay, you go… I’ll get her in few minutes,’ I said.
‘No, let her there only. She is not well. You come with me,’ she said.
‘Mom, if she is not well, how can I leave her alone? I said. ‘She would need me here’
‘Reyansh, nothing is serious. She just got on her cycle . She won’t able to join us in Laxmi Puja.’ Mom said.
‘But why?’ I asked. ‘She was waiting from past few months for Diwali… She was so excited’.
‘Why? You really don’t know,’ she said.
‘I know but what’s harm in this if she also joins us in Puja,’ I asked mom.
‘Reyansh, everyone is waiting for us. Let’s go. These customs are been followed from centuries by our society and we are also part of this society so don’t argue on this,’ she said and left.
I was not happy and honestly, I didn’t know the reason. What will happen if she also joins us in Puja? I tried but couldn’t able to make mom understand. After Puja, when I went to see Aabha, she looked very upset but she didn’t complain. Women in our countries just follow such customs silently even in 21st century. Nothing has changed.
I spoke about this issue with my cousin, Rohini. She is a medical student.
‘I know this is very unfair to women. But there is an alternate option to hide and enjoy all festivals. I have done this many a times.’ she said.
Her words made me feel like our women have still not got their freedom. Either they accept and follow what they have been told to follow or they opt for the option to hide. Is this really such a big issue that there is no solution to give them this freedom? Why women being prohibited by families to attend any religious event and festivals. Even they cannot go to temples and kitchen while their menstrual cycle. Its like they have done some crime. Is being on menstrual cycle a sin or a severe disease like leprosy? May be, I am thinking too much but I was not comfortable with this so I decided to find the reason of this behavior. I started my research. I spoke to many male and female friends but the answers were very shocking. Most of the answers were about impurity of women during menstrual cycle which was not convincing to me. No one was aware about the reason but still they were following in the name of customs. Then I decided to check the internet to find the cause of this disease. You won’t believe what I found that actually surprised me at our narrow mindsets.
This has been stated in the favor of the women to give them rest from their daily activities like cooking, going temple daily and other household activities. The reason was to give them complete rest as they already suffer pain and body aches during menstrual cycle.
We are still giving them comfort and rest but as punishment calling them impure and dirty. It’s very clear if God has created women so how can we call them impure and prohibit them to enter temples and attend worships.
We don’t ask explanation before following any customs due to scare. We are more scared than educated. We call ourselves practical but still following customs without knowing the real facts.
I have diagnosed my disease and cause of the same. Treatment is very simple to talk our families and friends without scare and explain them the actual reason. I won’t tolerate women of my family to face such embarrassment. I won’t allow them to be treated as dirty and impure. Afterwards, I will involve them in each worship without caring about their dates.
If you people also care about your mothers, sisters, wives and daughters. Let’s celebrate this Diwali with all women of your house without discussing their dates.
“Trust me God won’t punish you. He’ll be happy to see his daughters in Laxmi Puja”