Gupshup

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you. It’s a very special day for those who are very close to their mother’s. Today we should thank and show our love to our mothers for all their sacrifice and love. But instead of being thankful I am surrounded with lots of questions. Do you want to know the reason?

Myself Arundhati, I live in Mumbai with my parents, my brother and grandparents.
We are a middle-class family bought up in civilized and cultured environment. We follow all rituals and traditions and don’t make any flaw in it, not even by mistake. My mom, Varsha, she is the best wife, best daughter-in-law and the most important best mother I have ever seen in my whole life. I am very blessed to have her as my mother and want her as my mother in every birth till the moment I am in this universe but still I am not happy with her and I have few questions to ask her.

‘What happened Aru? What are you thinking?’ Mom asked.
‘Nothing…Ma…I am just thinking about someone’ I said.
‘About whom?’ She asked.
‘Ma, around 30 years ago, there was a girl who was full of life. She always used to crack jokes and try to make people laugh. She had a charm that It was impossible to ignore her. She was so interactive and a positive person. She was so particular and picky about her clothes, looks, food and everything which has any connect with her life. She loved to go out with her friends for outing, shopping and restaurants. She had many circles of friends. I don’t think she had a single criticizer or enemy. She knew to win people hearts and trust. She had a big wardrobe in which she used to keep a variety and unique collection of clutches, sling bags, hobo bags and many more variety which I can’t describe. She was a perfume lover. She had a classy taste and knowledge of all the perfume brands. She was a symbol or ideal girl who knew how to carry herself perfectly in each manner. Her name was Vani. Do you remember her ma? You know her the best anyone else can. She is lost from past many years and no one has seen her. And I guess no one has even tried to find her because it seems she herself wants to be lost, Right Ma?

‘Why are you telling all this? Who told you all this?’ Mom asked.
‘It doesn’t important. Important is, where is she?’ I asked mom.
‘You know where is she. She is in front of you. She is your mom and now her name is Varsha not Vani. The girl you described was Vani not Varsha. I had lost myself because of all the responsibilities. I wanted to be a theater artist but my dad didn’t allow me and fixed my marriage. I had only choice to accept it.

After marriage, I suddenly became the care taker of this house and all the family members. I had been taught on every step that my first responsibility is my family and my house. I don’t know how quickly my whole life had gone in the daily schedule of 6 am to 10 pm in taking care of everyone. I had got so proficient about everyone’s interest, their likes-dislikes, their food preference that I forgot what I liked to eat. I wasn’t able to dress up according to my choice because I had been given a dress code in the name of values. I had been told about the standards of an ideal married woman and importance of vermilion and mangalsutra even though I didn’t like to carry it. As per the society, it’s a sign of a woman’s dedication and commitment towards her husband. I was so busy in managing stuff of each family member that I couldn’t get freedom and time to collect my variety of bags. That’s why I preferred to forget Vani and accepted Varsha as my name was also changed without my permission and willingness as this was also a part of the rituals. I think it means a new life with a new name. It also means that 20 years of my life was a waste. My name, surname, preferences, choices, dreams and identity everything had gone in the fire of agnikund. And that happens without my permission and willingness. No one asked me Aru about anything and they had a long list of rituals and customs. How could have I fought with all of them? How could have I made them understand that I would be alive even after marriage and that, the freedom of life and choices are far important than these huge lists of obsolete customs to live the life given by God. How could have I convinced them that a woman also has first right on her life even after her marriage? I couldn’t dare to ask them so I accepted everything as I had been told and still, I am doing the same. I realized that no one would understand me or even bother to listen my choices about my own life, so what was the option I had. It was just to accept it willingly or unwillingly so I accepted it unwillingly because if I would have raised a single question, I would have got low rating in my roles. They had long KPI which I had to meet to get good rank in this family and society. Do you still have any question Aru?

‘Yes ma, why did you allow others to change your life? There is no doubt that you have been an amazing mother, wife and daughter-in-law but this is not only the purpose of your life. It can’t be a purpose of anyone’s life to sacrifice your own life and happiness for others. You should have fought against these harsh customs. Your happiness is more important that all other relations as this is your life and certainly, you have a first right on it. You are the only in-charge of your life and you could be the only fighter for your self-respect and your happiness. Today I asked you this question, tomorrow may be destiny or God will ask you the same question. He gave you all courage and a great dream then why didn’t you use it. You could have been a famous theater artist. It’s more important to get good rank in your own dreams and happiness than to get rating in relations and society. Don’t you think I am making sense Ma? I explained to mom.

‘Yes, you are saying correct. Maybe I needed a good mentor which I think now I found in my daughter. Will you help me to find Vani again?’ Mom agreed.
‘Yes mom, I will surely help you and that day I will be the happiest person in the world when I would be able to meet that great and charming Vani. Now come with me,’ I said.
‘Where?’ Mom asked.
‘Come with me, I have a surprise for you,’ I said.
‘Surprise? For me? Why? Mom (surprisingly) asked.
I took her to my room which I decorated for my mom with colorful flowers. My mom was very happy seeing that all decorations. I gave her three beautiful purses and her favorite perfume. We did cake cutting and enjoyed those moments. I could able to see happiness in my mom’s eyes and I was so glad to see that.
‘Thank you, Aru, but there was no need of all this and I don’t use perfume anymore,’ Mom said.
‘Why don’t you use it? Why don’t you want to feel special?’ I asked mom.
‘I am special because I am blessed with you. I have daughter who cares for me. I am one of the luckiest mothers,’ Mom said.
‘May be Varsha doesn’t required all these but Vani certainly needs this to start her new collection. So, Vani, let’s get ready,’ I said,
‘For what?’ Mom asked.
‘For the celebration, as your all friends are waiting for the charming Vani at cinema hall and after that we will go to your favorite restaurant. What do you think? Did you like my plan?’ I asked.
‘I love you Aru, you did all this only for me,’ Mom said.
‘Yes mom, I have only one mom 😊😊. No other option…what to do? 😉😉Now go get ready quickly. This is your day mom. I love you and Happy Mother’s Day, I said.

Mother’s Day is not only about thanking and gifts. It’s about the real happiness and dreams of your mother. I think this celebration should not be only on this one day. It should be every single day as your mother also wakes up for your dreams every day. Talk to your mother and get to know them more. Don’t be shocked if something unexpected comes out 😉😉 after all they are also human beings before their assigned designations.
I am celebrating Mother’s Day, are you?

😊😊😊 Happy Mother’s Day 😊😊😊